I sat down with my calendar this morning and discovered that I'm in the middle of a 32 day period where my only day off has been Thanksgiving day... and I was cooking dinner for 18 people that day...
I'm working six days a week right now. I've been putting in extra hours at my regular job and doing a few craft sales on weekends to earn money... all that adds up to a lot of work and not much in the way of days when I can relax. I really thrive on solitude and sabbath, so this has been challenging for me...
I'm tired. But also sort of invigorated in a way... God has been providing in amazing ways... at one of my craft sales I sold a wrought iron garden cart that I'd bought at a garage sale for $5 for the incredible mark-up of $100. That's totally God.
So far we have about $4000 saved/raised. $11,000 to go!
It feels huge sometimes... but it's so cool to see how God is taking care of us. Asia has been challenging me in the area of trust... that I can work a little less and trust God's provision. We have a dear friend who keeps saying "God's will, God's bill."
Why do I strive so hard? Honestly? Because I struggle to fully believe God will provide!
So I'm pondering that... perhaps part of His provision is through my work... or maybe I'm not trusting. It's difficult to find the balance.
We'll be sending out our formal support letter early next week... scary. It's really the big push in terms of support raising in most cases and I struggle with lacking faith... what if the letter doesn't work and we don't get the money we need?
See how tiny my faith is?
Already God is teaching me so much through this trip and it's still seven months away.
I feel quite vulnerable putting all this out there, but I've always strived for honesty in my blogging... so there it is.
I'm so thankful that God is so patient with me.
I have learned that lesson over and over again in the last ten years. There have been so many times where I have questioned where money was going to come from and it ALWAYS came. Many times in the craziest and unlikliest places. You would think I would have learned my lesson after so long but I still have a freak-out about every six months but God is good and patient with me.
ReplyDeleteThanks for being real. May you be a testimony to many who want to do the same or even go into full time ministry but aren't sure where the money is going to come from.
Leana