What I really wanted to write for the title was simply "Overwhelmed."
I'm choosing to add 'by grace.'
Because I know God is faithful - and that He will come through and all the things that are feeling overwhelming right now will seem fine in retrospect.
But right now, I'm overwhelmed.
We're in the process of working with the travel agent to book our tickets. And nothing seems to be going as planned.
We were hoping/expecting to pay $2000 per ticket... we've been quoted anywhere from $2500 to $3600 per ticket. That's a HUGE difference when you're buying five tickets.
We've been planning all along to visit our friends in Northern Ireland on our way to Sierra Leone - dear, dear friends that we've mentored for years who recently had a baby girl... we even planned extra time off and extra savings so we could take a short jaunt over to visit them. But the details for that trip are looking impossible... adding an additional $2000 to $5000 dollars we simply cannot afford. Bummer.
We've also been planning to stay in Freetown (the capital of Sierra Leone) for a few extra days to visit our friend Jay who is on staff with the Africa Mercy Ship. It's also looking like that may not work out... since the airline we're flying on only leaves Freetown on Tuesdays and Sundays and we can't stay that many extra days.
I'm overwhelmed.
Frustrated.
Discouraged.
Add to these things the fact that my work schedule has been SUPER busy... (which is a GOOD thing, since God is using my amazing job to provide lots of the money we need for the trip) but it also means I don't feel like I've been managing all the other things that need to happen for the trip to be a success...
I spent Monday and Tuesday fasting and praying in the midst of my normal schedule... asking God for his perfect provision and timing and for the trip to bring Him glory... that I would recognize my dependance on Him to use the trip in the lives of our kids and in the lives of the people we're going to serve... and in Tejan's life.
And then today I feel completely wiped out and defeated.
It's frustrating.
I know God will show Himself.
I KNOW God will show Himself.
Will you pray with me?
Thank you, friends.
Cathy, you've been added to my prayer list. I, too, have faith in God that you'll be able to follow your dream. So hang in there.....you help so many others that, now, it's your time.
ReplyDeleteMuch love to you and your family....Carol A
Cathy, you are a strong woman. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Keep the faith... everything has a way of working out. Shanon B.
ReplyDeleteCathy - God is in control. Will be praying for you. Love you !
ReplyDeleteCathy,
ReplyDeletePrayer is all I can offer! It seems so small but let's not underestimate the power that Jesus has in prayer! I love all of you and will commit to praying for all of you and God's will be done. I know things will work out! God is good!
-Josh
I was reflecting on two things last night. One is that I'm only here because Jesus has me here. There's really no other reason that I'm on the AFM than obedience. The other is that it's only by His grace, like you graciously inserted, that I'm still afloat.
ReplyDeleteI feel really overwhelmed as well. It's a miracle my job is getting done because like you I've been focusing on certain aspects of my responsibilities as required. The fallout is that other parts of it get neglected. Yet somehow everything has been progressing; stuff gets done and my superiors are increasingly happy with me.
It struck me that it's only through the Lord that this is even possible because I'm nearing burnout and am simply exhausted. I can't begin to imagine how I'm still afloat.
I'm tired and frustrated. I'll be more frustrated if you don't get to join me here ;)
The hard part is it doesn't always work out like we hope, and rarely as we plan. But in the end God is good and He knows what He's doing. I think it's that sense of reckless abandon we have to find in order to truly trust that what He has for us is better than anything else.
It's also very like God to get you where you're going in ways you couldn't have guessed in timing that makes you a bit more than uncomfortable. Which, to be honest, I still find annoying.
I love you guys a lot and can't wait to see how God provides. Here's praying for some serious giving in the near future!
This journey is a hard one for sure. It isn't always fun learning along the way but when you look but it will be amazing to see how God worked.
ReplyDeleteWe are in the midst of many changes and my timing doesn't seem to always work with God's timing and it is soooo frustrating. But I cling to the fact that He knows better than me and that is all that matters at the end of the day.
Praying for you and for some good news regarding your trip.
Blessings,
Leana